The Best Laid Schemes o' Lice an' Men

You would think, with a household of 2 teachers, and two school-aged children, that lice would inevitably worm its way into the follicles of our hairs. (It would.) Yet I personally have made it 41 years (5 of which were spent in the S. Bronx) without head lice, (my parents and brother never having it either) Overtime, I subconsciously grew to believe that I must have inherited a head lice-resistant gene (because of course one exists), which I passed on to my children. I mean, this school year alone we have already received 2 exposure notices from M's preschool, 2 notices from I's classroom, and I know of 2 cases in my own classroom...and yet we soldiered on, unscathed. That is until last Sunday, when I noticed Isabella doing some serious scratching behind her ears and at the back of her neck. She protested being checked (clearly, she too believed, subconsciously, that her hair was genetically resistant to lice).

Lice Lesson #1: Resistance is futile, or say those little buggers.

Lice Lesson #2: Ridding one's hair of lice is kind of like having one's hair colored, and then highlighted  (but without the foil...or the color). There is a cream rinse shampoo, a waiting period in which you get to read trashy literature (I mean have you read Alice in Wonderland?), a rinse, a laborious combing process in which 2 inch sections of hair are combed through again and again,  another rinse, and voila! Beautiful, shiny hair--peppered with dead lice carcasses. Just like going to the salon!

Of course, getting your hair colored or highlighted does not require you to wash down your ENTIRE house, so really treating lice is nothing like getting your hair done.

Having lice wasn't all so bad, at least for Isabella. She got to stay up late and watch Matilda and eat Halloween candy early, during the comb out process. She missed school the next day and got some brand new hair accessories.

Not one to have HIS thunder stolen, Matthew decided to take a sharpie to the hardwood floor while we were busy attending to Isabella's head of hair. Just add it to the clean up list...