The Story of Us. At Five Years. (An Essay)

The night before our 5th anniversary I inadvertently found a stack of cards Mark and I had written to each other while we were dating. Starry-eyed, I presented them to him as a kind of Anniversary Eve gift. While I think he thought they were cute-- sweet even-- I wasn't satisfied with his reaction.

The following day, we celebrated by spending the day in San Francisco. While we drove around I asked Mark deep, probing questions in an attempt to elicit the same kind of sweet nothings he so easily communicated to me five years earlier.

No such luck.

"What are your thoughts of marriage now?" I asked.

"Um-- it goes by fast" he slowly responded.


What? No, 'you've transformed my life?' No, 'I couldn't live without yous' ?


I'd even brought along the journal we bought the day we got engaged, (a journal with a wrap-around leather cover that he helped me pick out after I rejected his original choice of one with fuzzy, pink hearts on the cover) so we could capture our profound 5 year insights.

"What have you learned?" "How has marriage changed you?" I pressed.


"Uh, patience?" He stated in the form of a question. (?!)

Not good enough, my beloved!


Mark finally turned one of my questions back on me, and to my surprise, I had little to say as well. Disappointed, I put the journal down and focused on our drive.

We didn't feel like getting out of the car. We liked the feeling of the warm sunshine while we rode around. (It's been a very cool summer). We drove from the Golden Gate Bridge toward the Bay Bridge and back around. We drove past the ball park and passed judgement on the Dad who was purchasing baseball tix from the scalpers with his young son in tow. We would NEVER...well, maybe if our kid wasn't with us...which she was not. We looped around again and inquired of the nice scalper men the starting time of the game. Too late for us, so no tickets, but because we walked their shady line, they suddenly had our backs--defending us against the big truck trying to cut us off as we merged back into traffic. Ah, flashback to NYC.

We reminisced about our own Bronx Tales back across town. We critiqued each other's driving habits and conversed about hidden talents. We made each other laugh over our foibles and blunders. We eventually did get out of the car to indulge in one of our favorite pastimes: eating dessert, at Ghirardelli Square.

In short, we were having a grand time.

And then the sentiment came without even saying a word. He likes being with me. I like being with him. We like being together. Our five years have covered some of life's ups and downs: the loss of a parent, the birth of a child, a move across country, several smaller moves, job changes, job losses, health issues, a religious conversion...

And in the end (not end-end, just the end of five years-end) I guess the moral of the story of Us is that we (still) like each other--a lot. Happy Anniversary, Mark!

On our way back from San Fran, we accidentally took the wrong exit and not even knowing where we were, we drove right by the place where we got married.

Road Trip!

Our big event this summer was to take our first- ever family road trip to Washington to visit our friends, the Whittons. Look at the anticipation on this girl's face. She has no idea what 13 hours in the car will look like. (Neither did we)

Isabella was a champion passenger the first day. We made good time to the Redwoods in northern California for a night of camping. Campsite #66 was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L: smallish, with 2 giant redwoods, a fire pit, picnic table and streams of sunlight.

The harrowing adventure actually began that evening when Mark, the tent constructor, got a big fiberglass splinter deeply lodged in his finger (picture withheld for all the right reasons).
Mark calmly drove himself an hour a way to a hospital to have it removed. Sadly he had to miss out on all the camping fun (foil dinners, s'mores, corralling a two year old in the tent) but he made it back safely and with finger intact.

Prepping the foil dinners

SUPER yummy.

It took a while for Isabella to get settled, but once she did she slept pretty well. I was just anxious to have Mark come back, which he did around 11pm. We all managed to fall asleep and have an enjoyable time despite the minor drama.

Day Two of driving was long and arduous, but we arrived safely at the Whitton's that evening.

Emily, Matt and their daughter Naomi (2) are friends that we met in Napa. I met Emily in the pediatrician's office where we learned that we lived (at the time) in the same apartment complex. We soon discovered we had a lot in common: we were both teachers, married to teachers, we both had daughters born 10 days apart, we both went to college in the Seattle/Tacoma area, we were married to our husbands in the same month and year. We clicked and our families became friends.

The Whittens moved from Napa about a year ago to Ridgefield, WA, just over the Oregon border.

The girls.

Isabella has personal space issues and doesn't love to have other children touch her. Naomi showed Isabella how to hold her hand. Isabella let down her guard for a time and enjoyed a nice walk with Naomi. So sweet!

Both girls were excited to have a bath, but also decided after the bath to have meltdowns that lasted long into the night. It was a long night for the girls and their parents.

We visited the Portland Zoo. Isabella loved the animals but melted with the heat. She was a serious trooper though, and made it through.

We were able to see a bit of the city of Portland after the zoo trip and then ended the day with a pizza party.

We ended up staying with the Whittons for 4 nights and thoroughly enjoyed our visit. We took lots of walks, played in lots of parks, had lovely dinners and we can't wait until we can see them again!

On Saturday we began our return trip home leaving Ridgefield at 4 am hoping to take advantage of Isabella's sleeping time. It totally worked. We reached Ashland OR, our half way mark, at 11 am! We arrived, played at a park and had a picnic, then went to our motel to take naps. We swam at the motel pool then went out for dinner.

What we loved about Ashland:

1. Lithia Park - It has a creek you can swim in and a great playground and it's just plain beautiful.

2. Mix Dessert Shop's Browned Butter Pecan Cookie Dough Ice Cream

3. All the Renaissance-y people inspired by the influence of the Shakespeare Festival.

Isabella's sleeping pad at the motel. We didn't know if she'd actually stay in her bed, but to our surprise she made it until 3 am before she crawled in with us.

Isabella loved the safe in the room. She would hide her pacifier and our toothbrushes inside and then shut the door and press the buttons on the keypad. The keypad would then light up green and she would say, "Green means go!" (a game she played in the car whenever we would stop at a stoplight).

We arrived home safely on Sunday afternoon. Isabella was great on the car ride home. Overall, it was a WONDERFUL vacation. Can't wait to do it again. Someday.